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fiachairecht) wrote2018-04-13 11:01 pm
fiachairecht) wrote2018-04-13 11:01 pm
Entry tags:
the sons and daughters of endlessness came to me {outline}
i solved all my plot problems by making this a sith!leia who wants to murder the force AU, which is great for me and also awful for the galaxy at large. i thought i was showing Great Restraint with the number of female characters in the supporting cast ('look!' i said delightedly to nina, 'hera and aphra are only in three sections of this outline!') but the mods are rightfully concerned that it's ... maybe not that shippy of a piece. which, i was kinda going for the understated cold comfort of scandinoir shit-we-have-to-work-together unconventional partnerships but it's a reylo anthology and that's ... fair. i think a lot of their relationship development is buried in the section titled 'the part i haven't figured out yet'
summary: leia tries to murder the force. ben tries to save his mother. rey is torn between the woman who promises her power and the boy who promises her salvation. no one is quite as alive as they should be. (a scandinoir au set largely in the unknown regions, featuring cosmic-entity!rey, sith!leia, sorta-jedi!ben, sith artifacts, a supporting cast of hera syndulla, chelli lona aphra, and amilyn holdo, and maybe the death of the force.)
musical insp: urn (part i) and within the void we are breathless ne obliviscaris ; whisper my child eleine ; ravenlight kamelot ; no color, no light oceans of slumber ; ylva's theme jordskott ost ; night 13 auri ; the ghost and the reaper the dark element ; the space between auri ; hollow talk bron|broen ost ; time vuur ; particle flux chelsea wolfe ; urn (part ii) as embers dance in our eyes ne obliviscaris
the problem // leia organa hates the force. it stole her father, her brother, allowed for the destruction of her home. and it has its claws in her son, something dark and hungry at his core that she would give anything to erase. ben doesn't feel it, so much, not inside -- he just feels empty. neither does amilyn, leia's lover and ben's beloved second mother -- she just fears, for leia slipping into darkness, for ben and the things he's … missing. leia grows darker, as the force around her wanes. and ben and amilyn are afraid, and ben dreams of corpses printed with alderaanian letters, and nothing is where it should be.
the apprentice // rey of jakku isn't dead. the dead cannot possibly want this much, cannot possibly change this much. she builds what she can, from bones and wires and skin. nights, she sleeps delirious in the sand, and dreams of ghosts. a woman robed in black with senatorial chains around her neck, speaking a language she doesn't understand. a boy robed in white with his hands outstretched, who can only be asking for help. a power swelling in her chest, sparking from her fingertips, that lets her move mountains, create light … oh. that one isn't just a dream anymore. shouldn't that mean the tears stop?
the solution // ben is twenty when hera syndulla comes to him, a haunted former-imperial former-archaeologist former-something at her side and stories of the sith on her tongue. stories of corpses, too familiar and too recent for him to ignore. there is a way to save leia from falling, they say, to push back the creeping many-fanged dread and lay the corpses to rest. to disentangle life and death and the force without creating nothing but a wasteland. but ben must go very far away, and he must be very brave, and he must not be alone.
the plan // they take him to jakku, first. of course they take him to jakku first. whatever is clawing at leia's heart couldn't possibly come from known space, and while ben would fling himself head-first into the unknown regions to save her, the others know better. amilyn stays to try to keep the shadows back. aphra remembers the imperial observatory, the imperial plans, the imperial … path. and hera just knows that she needs to fly again, to take another child whose heart and force are too big to be contained by a body somewhere else so he can save them all.
the desert // finding the remains of the ruined observatory is easy. finding the information they need is less so, especially when they find the girl. ben thinks he's imagining her at first -- who could possibly live down here? who could … feel so much like his mother, so strong and ever-present in the force? who could dream of him, the way rey says she does? jakku is not for those who want life. hera doesn't, precisely, want to leave ben alone, but leaving him with rey feels right in a way she hasn't felt in decades. ben wants to leave, wants it more than anything, and leaving with rey is the first thing that feels right since the first death that his mother wouldn't talk about.
the void // rey dreams of the void. rey dreams of a path through the void. rey dreams of the stars and of leia and of ben's hands in hers and she doesn't want to kill him but she thinks he should be dead. she dreams of leia -- the woman who has a name now, who doesn't know any longer that she still has ben's heart in hands, who has her nails in bits of rey that she's just learning exist. she knows the moment they slip into the unknown regions because the woman she's been following becomes a fox. rey dreams and dreams and dreams and ben can follow her through space (he has to, on this ship that's bound them) but he cannot follow her in the force, and he is afraid.
(interlude // it's funny, isn't it, to think that because you cannot see something it didn't happen. rey chases loth-cats in her dreams and wakes up with teethmarks on her heart and blood on her hands. when ben calls amilyn they cry together and when ben says please it is almost loud enough to drown the other voice in rey's head. she's crying too.)
the crystals // they start on ilum, of course. the force draws them there, and ben's memories, and rey … rey sings in a voice she didn't know she had, and something in the caves answers. rey sings and the crystals in her hands tremble, and they break but do not bleed for the girl whose everything resonates wrong against them. rey builds a black lightsaber, her hands unnaturally steady under ben's. he doesn't dream anymore. nothing is better like this.
the nowhere // the path is a line, or perhaps it is a circle, but it spins out through hyperspace and this, too, is different here. the ship is caught in gravity wells. (ben and rey are caught in each other.) the ship is caught in asteroid belts. (ben and rey are caught in each other.) the ship is -- the ship is -- ben closes his eyes every time they jump but he still makes maps that are wrong by the time they leave hyperspace. ben closes his eyes as rey sleeps quiet on his chest, and wonders if the maps he could make from her dreams would be any more accurate. (rey dreams of leia, of ben's corpse with a kyber shard in his heart. rey dreams of nothingness, and she wants.)
the attempt // they make it to the deep before something snaps. rey's resolve, or maybe her walls, or perhaps even her curiosity finally crumble under leia's touch, because they are underground, and it feels like home, and it is empty and almost-quiet and good and … and ben is so beautiful when he's dead, and leia is so proud, and maybe this is good enough. she can see a future for the first time now, if leia works her way through the core and she works her own way through the unknown regions, if they meet at the edge of wildspace when they're the only two left ...
the resurrection // he comes back. she brings him back. she doesn't understand how someone -- how leia -- could have this power in her hands and want to give it up. but perhaps it is possible to love too much -- certainly ben does, when he hardly flinches from her touch even now, when she's done so much to him, when he keeps believing there's a way to save his mother. rey is starting to wonder which of them need saving, but she cannot turn back now. she cannot be anywhere but here, ben in her hands and leia in her head and the force around her … slipping,
the part i haven't figured out yet // there are at Least two more planets' worth of mutual angst and force shenanigans here. at one point ben saves rey from [unknown regions thing] and she's like …… o no.
the bad end // rey fails, or at least something leia perceives as a failure. she is weak when leia and amilyn meet her in the strange nowhere-place that is the intersection of hyperspace and the force. she is weak as ben takes her hand, kisses his mother goodbye. she is strong when all four of them die, together, and the force … is gone.
the good end // rey fails, or at least something leia perceives as a failure. she is loved when leia and amilyn meet her in the strange nowhere-place that is the intersection of hyperspace and the force. she is loved as ben takes her hand, kisses his mother hello. she is loved as all four of them live, together, and the galaxy … endures.
okay, i haven't actually picked between the two endings yet, but.
summary: leia tries to murder the force. ben tries to save his mother. rey is torn between the woman who promises her power and the boy who promises her salvation. no one is quite as alive as they should be. (a scandinoir au set largely in the unknown regions, featuring cosmic-entity!rey, sith!leia, sorta-jedi!ben, sith artifacts, a supporting cast of hera syndulla, chelli lona aphra, and amilyn holdo, and maybe the death of the force.)
musical insp: urn (part i) and within the void we are breathless ne obliviscaris ; whisper my child eleine ; ravenlight kamelot ; no color, no light oceans of slumber ; ylva's theme jordskott ost ; night 13 auri ; the ghost and the reaper the dark element ; the space between auri ; hollow talk bron|broen ost ; time vuur ; particle flux chelsea wolfe ; urn (part ii) as embers dance in our eyes ne obliviscaris
the problem // leia organa hates the force. it stole her father, her brother, allowed for the destruction of her home. and it has its claws in her son, something dark and hungry at his core that she would give anything to erase. ben doesn't feel it, so much, not inside -- he just feels empty. neither does amilyn, leia's lover and ben's beloved second mother -- she just fears, for leia slipping into darkness, for ben and the things he's … missing. leia grows darker, as the force around her wanes. and ben and amilyn are afraid, and ben dreams of corpses printed with alderaanian letters, and nothing is where it should be.
the apprentice // rey of jakku isn't dead. the dead cannot possibly want this much, cannot possibly change this much. she builds what she can, from bones and wires and skin. nights, she sleeps delirious in the sand, and dreams of ghosts. a woman robed in black with senatorial chains around her neck, speaking a language she doesn't understand. a boy robed in white with his hands outstretched, who can only be asking for help. a power swelling in her chest, sparking from her fingertips, that lets her move mountains, create light … oh. that one isn't just a dream anymore. shouldn't that mean the tears stop?
the solution // ben is twenty when hera syndulla comes to him, a haunted former-imperial former-archaeologist former-something at her side and stories of the sith on her tongue. stories of corpses, too familiar and too recent for him to ignore. there is a way to save leia from falling, they say, to push back the creeping many-fanged dread and lay the corpses to rest. to disentangle life and death and the force without creating nothing but a wasteland. but ben must go very far away, and he must be very brave, and he must not be alone.
the plan // they take him to jakku, first. of course they take him to jakku first. whatever is clawing at leia's heart couldn't possibly come from known space, and while ben would fling himself head-first into the unknown regions to save her, the others know better. amilyn stays to try to keep the shadows back. aphra remembers the imperial observatory, the imperial plans, the imperial … path. and hera just knows that she needs to fly again, to take another child whose heart and force are too big to be contained by a body somewhere else so he can save them all.
the desert // finding the remains of the ruined observatory is easy. finding the information they need is less so, especially when they find the girl. ben thinks he's imagining her at first -- who could possibly live down here? who could … feel so much like his mother, so strong and ever-present in the force? who could dream of him, the way rey says she does? jakku is not for those who want life. hera doesn't, precisely, want to leave ben alone, but leaving him with rey feels right in a way she hasn't felt in decades. ben wants to leave, wants it more than anything, and leaving with rey is the first thing that feels right since the first death that his mother wouldn't talk about.
the void // rey dreams of the void. rey dreams of a path through the void. rey dreams of the stars and of leia and of ben's hands in hers and she doesn't want to kill him but she thinks he should be dead. she dreams of leia -- the woman who has a name now, who doesn't know any longer that she still has ben's heart in hands, who has her nails in bits of rey that she's just learning exist. she knows the moment they slip into the unknown regions because the woman she's been following becomes a fox. rey dreams and dreams and dreams and ben can follow her through space (he has to, on this ship that's bound them) but he cannot follow her in the force, and he is afraid.
(interlude // it's funny, isn't it, to think that because you cannot see something it didn't happen. rey chases loth-cats in her dreams and wakes up with teethmarks on her heart and blood on her hands. when ben calls amilyn they cry together and when ben says please it is almost loud enough to drown the other voice in rey's head. she's crying too.)
the crystals // they start on ilum, of course. the force draws them there, and ben's memories, and rey … rey sings in a voice she didn't know she had, and something in the caves answers. rey sings and the crystals in her hands tremble, and they break but do not bleed for the girl whose everything resonates wrong against them. rey builds a black lightsaber, her hands unnaturally steady under ben's. he doesn't dream anymore. nothing is better like this.
the nowhere // the path is a line, or perhaps it is a circle, but it spins out through hyperspace and this, too, is different here. the ship is caught in gravity wells. (ben and rey are caught in each other.) the ship is caught in asteroid belts. (ben and rey are caught in each other.) the ship is -- the ship is -- ben closes his eyes every time they jump but he still makes maps that are wrong by the time they leave hyperspace. ben closes his eyes as rey sleeps quiet on his chest, and wonders if the maps he could make from her dreams would be any more accurate. (rey dreams of leia, of ben's corpse with a kyber shard in his heart. rey dreams of nothingness, and she wants.)
the attempt // they make it to the deep before something snaps. rey's resolve, or maybe her walls, or perhaps even her curiosity finally crumble under leia's touch, because they are underground, and it feels like home, and it is empty and almost-quiet and good and … and ben is so beautiful when he's dead, and leia is so proud, and maybe this is good enough. she can see a future for the first time now, if leia works her way through the core and she works her own way through the unknown regions, if they meet at the edge of wildspace when they're the only two left ...
the resurrection // he comes back. she brings him back. she doesn't understand how someone -- how leia -- could have this power in her hands and want to give it up. but perhaps it is possible to love too much -- certainly ben does, when he hardly flinches from her touch even now, when she's done so much to him, when he keeps believing there's a way to save his mother. rey is starting to wonder which of them need saving, but she cannot turn back now. she cannot be anywhere but here, ben in her hands and leia in her head and the force around her … slipping,
the part i haven't figured out yet // there are at Least two more planets' worth of mutual angst and force shenanigans here. at one point ben saves rey from [unknown regions thing] and she's like …… o no.
the bad end // rey fails, or at least something leia perceives as a failure. she is weak when leia and amilyn meet her in the strange nowhere-place that is the intersection of hyperspace and the force. she is weak as ben takes her hand, kisses his mother goodbye. she is strong when all four of them die, together, and the force … is gone.
the good end // rey fails, or at least something leia perceives as a failure. she is loved when leia and amilyn meet her in the strange nowhere-place that is the intersection of hyperspace and the force. she is loved as ben takes her hand, kisses his mother hello. she is loved as all four of them live, together, and the galaxy … endures.
okay, i haven't actually picked between the two endings yet, but.
no subject
But oh man if this ends up like your valentines fic im gonna be crying by the end no matter what you do <3
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I think it’s something that (like you said) you’ll find as you write it and explore some of those tbd moments.
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Er, I gotta say, "horrible" is a compliment from me, I'm a Lovecraft-style horror fan.
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(is it weird if i say, 'i know'? the hidden lore of old ocean was one of the first fics i read when i was just getting into fandom, and it ruined me for like 90% of not only sga fic but, like, fic in general)
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So is this an anthology you are submitting for a themed Big Bang or something? Because I'm trying to resist the urge to tell you to say "fuck it" and go for the Rey and Leia-themed gold here.
Also, holy shit, if the Force is an eldritch horror, it's almost two dueling Eldritch horrors - or one really fucking psychotic Eldritch horror - on another plane using its most connected descendants to fight a proxy battle wherein each side tries to destroy the other in the most horrifying way, and it thereby tempts people and literally pits friends, relatives, and lovers against each other in its proxy battles. To decide the fate of the Force and therefore the galaxy and/or universe.
That's possibly the most horrific interpretation of the Force ever, even worse than an utterly impersonal mystic field that doesn't care if you're dark or light, and. I utterly love it. (My Hathor icon for this one. Even if it's a Star Wars post. Because it's just. that. terrible.)
(It's not at all weird, but super, super flattering! Thank you! I adore your fic equally in return, and am excited that you're into one of my oldest fandoms. That's one of the biggest compliments anyone could ever pay my writing! I should put you on my original writing filter. Do you mind? I'm overdue for a post on it, though I do need to come up with something better than "were there women in Charlemagne's court that history recorded other than his wives, daughters, and mistresses?" ...I have a vampire original character who started out as the wife of one of the noblemen, but I would love to be able to attach her to a historical figure.)
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it's for the reylo fanfiction anthology, themed for 'celestial bodies'. so while it's supposed to be 'rey and ben wander the unknown regions trying to stop sith!leia from destroying the Force' there's a risk it turns into 'rey wanders the unknown regions wondering if she should help sith!leia destroy the force while ben trails after her with sad eyes saying please don't. i keep running into the problem that is, i wrote nearly 23k of super close-pov, ben and rey trapped in the falcon with nothing to do but talk and share childhood memories' for them earlier this year, and now i wanna universe-build. i'm trying to behave and keep the leia+rey feelings confined to the myriad amilyn/leia/rey possibilities that laura dern confirming force-sensitive holdo opened up, but, gods it's hard.
that being said, the idea of the eldritch force consciously choosing pawns with the intention that they should fight, and leia trying to break free by turning to sith teachings while rey and ben end up breaking free by refusing to fight is. i think you just knocked a piece i hadn't realised was missing into place, i have a lot more to think about now! (also hathor icon what a good)
(i'd love to be on your original writing filter! vampire stories are a not-so-secret favourite of mine)
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I ignore SW fandom at large and engage with about .001% of it because I curate my fandom experience to be "not a trash fire," since I came out of Usenet and giant e-servers in the 90s (I'm old and jaded and really don't mind admitting that) and therefore feel entirely guilt-free about enjoying only the company of people I like.
Universe-building is AMAZING and my favorite thing to do for a fandom, which is why I AU so much and ended up hacking everything into little bits and rebuilding it. (Also why I ended up taking my vampire SGA AU offline to turn into original fic and expanding from 24k to, uhm-- 45k and counting?)
Uh. You said. Amilyn/Leia/Rey. Excuse me. I will be over here recovering from distraction now. Have you perchance written this? I haven't seen it drop in your ao3 anything, but I may have missed it. I have lots of busy-making hobbies.
You could always write that separately, because the actual concept of Eldritch Force consciously choosing pawns and Rey, Leia, and Ben all making attempts to break free of being pawns of the Force and going about it different ways is an AMAZING concept and. Just yes. How can I encourage this more?
The joy of being a chronic multishipper the way I am is that I can happily shift gears on pairings. At what point did Leia embrace Sith teachings? Because if it's at a specific point in her history, then Rey trailing after her with sad eyes is less realistic, rather than more. (This kind of thing is honest to goodness some of my favorite parts of fic plotting, so if you already have it decided, feel free to just infodump. Otherwise, I enjoy asking questions and working things like this out.)
(I skipped the hell out of dance class last night, which is bad, because we have a really complicated choreography, but fever, congestion, taxes, and I'm skipping the hell out of class tonight too, because same. I don't really feel good at ALL, and I'm already at work because I'm stubborn.)
(Also I added you to the filter! Which I need to make a post on. If I could get my brain together about my darling infatuated vampire and the detective he's obsessed with.)
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the 23k of reylo is inside my wounded soul (like mortal love), where the prompt 'force bond: showing each other memories from their childhood' spiralled ... a lot (i predicted force-sensitive amilyn in it, i felt v vindicated after that interview). i only have one amilyn/leia/rey ficlet finished, i saw the sky in you, but i also have a lot of half-finished Ideas floating around that i can finally get back to now my dissertation's in.
yeah, my multishipper problem is that i want to write about everyone at once, hence this turning into something that is not only reylo but also amilyn/leia and hera/aphra. i'll probably write a lot and then cut mercilessly, and then shape some of the cut bits into a prequel more centred on the amilyn-leia-hera-aphra square.
i'm thinking about snoke going after leia instead of ben, and also about messing with the canon timeline a bit so that leia's parentage reveal happens earlier than it does in bloodline. i was thinking about ... there's that bit in the novel where she shows up to a formal senate event after the reveal that vader was her father basically dressed exactly like him? and maybe that, too tips her over into .... okay, his force powers in addition to his aesthetic are Mine Now so they cannot be used against me. i think in this AU she lost luke in the final days of the war, so she had nowhere to send ben and it's just. her and amilyn trying to deal with this ridiculously powerful force-sensitive kid, except leia's trending dark and amilyn just had gatalenta's jedi legends. so ben and leia are both just ... reaching out into the void looking for other strong force-users, and rey gets caught in the middle.
....i'm not sure i'm making this More of a reylo story but i love working this sort of stuff out. hopefully this is somewhat of a distraction from feeling miserable at work, and i hope you feel better soon <3
no subject
And yet, somehow I've never managed to write Star Wars fanfic, despite loving the universe and, uh, owning a fair number of the d20 rpg books. (None of the d6 West End books, not because they're bad, but because I was a broke-ass teenager when that was the only SW-licensed rpg out there and I was spending my money on Vampire: The Masquerade and its ilk instead. I regret nothing - except the way their weight makes the shelves of my cheap pressboard bookcases bow in.)
I will read those this week! Taxes, fuck them all, my state will not accept my e-filing and I have to mail it in. Which is stupid and I don't know why it won't, but ARGH, okay.
Also the writing about everyone at once can be a huge problem, I agree! Because sometimes then you want to write a giant pile of romantic partner-swapping and-- Well, fandom will put up with that, but I'm trying to make a switch to original fic, and people are really into monogamy in that. It's very annoying. (I really need to remember that people like LKH exist and make money at writing ridiculous orgy piles.)
I don't know, I don't see someone who is unshakeable enough not to break in the face of Vader and Tarkin and who knew about the Emperor being a manipulative snake (and who is a wily political manipulator herself) falling for Snoke? But a vulnerable teenage boy, sure, with Ben, I saw that. Hrm. Though my feelings on Snoke are "burn him with fire," I will admit. I guess I see Leia more as the "grabbing her Force destiny with both hands and jumping into the Dark Side eyes-wide-open while saying fuck you to everyone" because I don't see Leia so much being buffeted by the winds of fate as taking control of things that happen to her every time? Which is exactly what you're saying with the "...so they cannot be used against me."
(Oh, no! She lost Luke, no wonder everything went bad. My heart is breaking for her.)
...I have Bloodline and have to finish it.
(I get to leave in 40 minutes and then I have to go and buy some groceries that are utterly necessary for tonight and UGH.)
no subject